when in car...
when driving..
when on Fly FM..
sure this song will be on air... ^.^

Lifehouse - Whatever it Takes

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

this song... for you all may no meaning
but understand it deeply enough, it actually reflects my love life now.
sometimes i think...
do i really do enough for her??
or just for the sake to keeping her?!

yesterday my 'daughter' really scold me hell up for the act i do till i hurt HER
well, i do really deserve to be scolded
for lying to HER.
just hope that when SHE read this..
well..
i prefer she don't read it though..
later scared SHE thinking some other nonsense...

sometimes i do really wanted to tell HER..
i willing to do anything for you!!

this song.. really reflect a lot bout me.
i shall say..
we both..
*secret ^.^
let us both know then is OK already..
sorry guys!!!

slowly understand this lyric,
makes me realize things that i never think of...

listen to this song,
sometimes do really bring me near to tears..

sing along his song,
really bring my memories to think bout her..

repeating this song,
really can bring me close to her although we far apart

yising...
i love you..
DEEPLY LOVE YOU!!!!

double post.. for the first time.. ahaha!!

today..
hard time for me..
class half way.. headache

thinking of smoking may settle down the headache bit..
well i actually tried it..
the outcast...
well its really not so painful anymore..
for a WHILE.. T.T

when smoking also trigger my sensitive throat to cough
cough hard..
till i can feel my lungs are coming out.. LOL..

OMG...
really feel unwell..
i think i should stop smoking..
but after listen my friends says..
maybe i reduce the quantity..
and stop slowly..

coz my friend say if sudden stop..
body may cant take it..
and may...
i also dont know what he say after this already..
haha!!

well i promised someone to stop..
and im sure will.. ^^

theres one verb says: -
'... a simple smile can change people's mood..'

is it really... that powerful..??
till recently..
i tried..
i experience..

you know what...
not just a smile can change people's mood,
gestures, action, words and many more actions..
also can change people's mood..


since i couple with xiao ke ai..
seriously..
my mood like changed a lot..

her smile is like medicine..
any sorrows, unhappy thing cured after see her sweet smile

her eyes..
really can make guys faint.. LOL..

her gestures..
can easily guessed by me..
although sometimes i wrong.. haha

her words..
really can make guys wondering what actually shes thinking..

got an Chinese verb says this..
understanding women's thinking are as hard as..
finding a needle in seabeds.

is it true?? hehe
dont tell me..
i wanna discover by myself.. wakaka!!

day by day..
although our time are limited,
but i hope we can cherish every moment that we have together.
you're changed me a lot.. thanks a lot..

love you always, xiao ke ai...
^^

lies..
for me..
sometimes is a good tools of verbal weaponry..
but sometimes.. its deadly..

meanings of lie in Wikipedia.org
lie is a type of deception in the form of an untruthful statement with the intention to deceive, often with the further intention to maintain a secret or reputation, or to avoid punishment.

for the first time in my life..
after 20 years life in this world..
someone..
other than my mum..
cried for me..
because of something...
that i think is dangerous to let her know..
so i decided to not to her..
so that she wont think much, think in a ridiculous way...
that can cause casualties and harm to our relationships.

just what have i went wrong in my mind?!
we should be truthful and now..
ended in this kind of situation that hard to twist back into line
yesterday is another tragic..
for some reason my cousin using my aunt's MSN account to ask me
'... who is xiao ke ai??...'

seriously..
im near blow out in front of computer already
and till yesterday night..
at my cousin's wedding..
she told me that is my cousin using her account and not her. =.="
and then my aunt started to ask bout her, my girl...
tell her every tidbits bout her and me..
and i tell her 1 word before i started the conversation
'.. seriously.. you all cant insure that what i tell wont spread around..'
and thats the reason i seldom tell them my stuff...
coz i don't want the case like my cousin, Artisha and me happen again..
spread rumors around for something untrue
i dont want yising involve in my family business...
i don't want her ended like Artisha..
when i close to Art, sure someone mumbling at the corner there..

life in my family is hard huh.. ^^
but this is the fun part of it..
and i wanna keep yising in my heart..
and pray that my aunt wont spread rumors around.. *praying hard
but somehow..
i feel relief after i tell her bout yising.. hehe
although she tell me..
'... ah loong.. you're so stupid..'
but later she says..
'... you both happy then is OK la...'
after her words.. this face was around me all the time..
^.^

well i don't really mean to hide things from her..
but truthfully..
many things she cant know..
hope yising understands it..
and maybe..
just maybe..
disaster may happened again...

happy birthday to ME
happy birthday to ME
happy birthday~~ to~~~ ME~~~
HAPPY~~ BIRTHDAY~~ TO~~ ME~~~

wooo!!! *crowds went wild

and next..

tempek time!! our high school tradition

whereby the birthday boy will be slammed, hit, side kick.. in whatever style you want
and finish it by..
wet the birthday boy out.. ^^

well really miss my old school times..
whereby this 'tempek' tradition are hot like freshly baked pancakes

actually my parents did a birthday party for me at last week Saturday...
well is kinda surprise..
coz they only let me know at last week Monday,
whereby Tuesday i go Langkawi for vacation.. haha
so really no time to organize the party. ^^
but glad that my friends that i call mostly attended the party..
especially Chia Wen.. hehe
then after that have a movie with her parents.. ^^

and for the first time..
someone other than Chia Wen give me presents.. LOL..
*pictures will updates soon

i know you're unhappy that you cant attend he party..
but i hope that in june i can attend yours.. ^^

and thanks for my friends and families.. xD
although that day got some errors.. wakakak!! xD

tired days... hehe

today become a...
tourist guide + translator + 'mempelai' xD (i have no idea what it is called in english.. xD)

become tourist guide is coz of my friend call me to accompany him to become translator coz he promised the bunch of students from China to bring they all for shopping.

then after that we, the bunch of guys n' girls realize something...
one of the student interested to my friend.. LOL...
well i dont know weather neither both got feeling toward each other or not..
but their actions...
makes us do feel like that.. ^^

well i do really hope they both couple..
coz they both really looks suitable.. ^^

while shop that time..
one of the couple was quarrel with his boy friend
coz of something minor..
then after that they are ok already. ^^
glad bit though

then it just a buzz of light..
makes me reflect on HER
im always makes HER unhappy..

i do really think of her on that time..
wondering...
what if i make her angry..
really think hard for it..

and just now..
while chat with my friend...
she say something..
well that makes me think hard enough
what if.. we really can't last long and hurt each other..

man..
i really need to list down the word 'what if' into my -dangerous words guidebook-
LOL...
this word 'what if' do really make me sick of it..
after 'so far so good'...

just now.. someone advised me something..
come to think of it..
i think its really sweet to have a pair of that thing.. ^^
hehe..
thanks Wendy.. wakaka!!!

white clover are nice. isn't it?? ^^

nightmare started..
and just have 1 day study from 9am to 6 pm.

actually i should say.. erm..
lady of luck besides me?!
coz we just have a day that is full day study?!

or..

still like last semester.. don't feel busy enough?!
i don't know..

this semester schedule:-
ta da..

click to enlarge... ^^
my subjects are in underlined

got 1 day break in weekdays.. not bad la..

last semester have a month drought of 1 assignment only to do...
after that busy till cant breath..
well i hope it doesn't happen this semester too.. hehe

unfamiliar lecturer names also appear..
from Terry to Howard
but glad that those oldies are around
Naufal, Rahim.. and not least K.P. See
and many lecturers name are out from list..
are they.. BEEN FIRED?! LOL!!
i don't know.. haha!!

sad thing is design subject are merged together with juniors...
i wonder.. what they trying to do??
moreover.. seniors study different stuff...
why we been merged?!

argh.. don't care anymore..
let them settle for us... ^^

... see things in different perspective...

not i saying myself is different from others or so..
but..
really think bout it..
don't analyze someone in one shot
know the subject well and try to understand the subject.

designers don't think in one ways..
is more than 10 ways..
serving people needs, requirements and many more..
but what makes us special is that
we have a intelligent mind to think, translate and design.

people...
for me.. is a toy for designers
whatever designers design
we forced to follow.
just like me..

but come to think of it..

if we break the barrier..
isn't it really change the whole world?!

sometimes i do wonder...
whats judgment??

according Bible, is the day of confession/truth
judgment for me..
doesn't meant anything for me
coz i don't judge people nor my work.

you can call me sarcastic but please face it
this is me..

sometimes i wish...
can mankind treat other mankind well??

-no religion boundary..
-no skin color difference..
-no language boundary..
-no more hierarchy system in society..
-no more differences in between cultures
-no more differences or disgrace of other sex

just hope that the world will be better next time.. ^^

artisha,
just hoping you're ok..
i know is hard for you..
but.. i also don't know what to say already..
if you feel wanna talk..
im always here.. ok??

back from Langkawi.. ^^
1 word for this vacation.. satisfaction!! ^^
it was fun hang out with my friends though..
although sometimes.. well most of the time make fun of me..
but im really enjoy..

hang out with them..
drink with them. PS: not drink water, drink 'air panas', according to my friend
'air panas' also known as Vodka or liquor or similar.. FYI.. =.="

dinner with them..
smoke with them..

and most of all..
went high together with them!! xD

but..
what stunned me there is not those hawt sexy bikini girls...
in fact i dint take a single pictures on that
what pictures i take at there are just scenery pictures
and also my 'big family' photos

sunsets at there are fcuking nice...
but before you go there..
make sure you have a nice camera and equip with best gears. ^^

well Langkawi is someplace you wouldn't bored to visit it although you been there
like...4 times a year..
coz theres so many.. i mean MANY interesting place to visit...
from the icon, Lang, itself..
till the top hill view where you can see the the whole island if Langkawi
just a nice place to visit... hehe!!!

Photo Gallery

my friend looking at the eagle











sunset at Cenang Beach

13 continuous shots of sunsets


and not least...

my gay friends... xD

thank you guys!!! ^^

how do i hope you will be there
but that is something near impossible now
but we still have lots of chances.. ^^
i hope to go Langkawi again.. with YOU!!!
hope that this coming holiday, we can go Langkawi together.. ^^

woohoo.. free from work... ^^
FOR NOW... T.T

anyway got 4 days break is better than nothing.. right!! xD
langkawi trip for 4 days... sure is very fun day.. ^^
best part is this is first time travel so far with friends.
sad part is no girls attend the trip. sad..
no bikini girls... T.T

wOOt!! better mind my words. later my wife would kill me!! xD

pictures will be updates SOON!!! xD

baobei.. i worried you.. how you gonna face this 4 miserable 4 days..
hope our good little daughter will take care of you. sweat!! =.="
oh ya.. today im officially become a father!!! wow!! ^^


these few days..
when i drive,
in cafe,
wherever...

this song always stick on my mind...

Buckcherry - Sorry

Oh I had alot to say
Was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

This time I think I'm to blame
It's harder to get through the days
We get older and blame turns to shame
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried
It's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah sorry

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry baby.
I'm sorry baby, Yeah.
I'm sorry.

i want to sing this song to you....
coz i make you sad and sorrow.. merely everyday
im sorry babe....
im sorry....

just wake up...
from my 8 beauty hours of sleeping. ^^

hmm.. what i have done yesterday night at friends house..

- gamble and win near 7 ringgit .. AGAIN!! xD
- my friend belanja me eat for 7 bucks.. wOOt.. once in the blue moon though.. hehe
- jealous of my friend bringing his girl friend to overnight at his house.


well.. im do really miss her though..
didn't online for a night really drives me crazy..
some more my friend action..
kinda make me realize..
am i good for him??

i mean like i cant be with her all the time..
when she cries, happy or moody..
we just can communicate through Instant Messaging.
and see her face through web camera.

i scared.. im not good enough for her
for all the things i done to her..
im really puzzled sometimes.. how can i treat my girl friend like that?!
sometimes i do really wanna scold myself.. what a lousy guy i am
cant be with her all the time especially the time she needs me

maybe this is the challenges of we having now...
the 2nd important test after architect Part 3 test
the love test of between you and me.
we can endure the test!!!
right?? my beloved girl friend!!! xD

im sorry for what i done
i know now you probably say..
my boyfriend except the word sorry no other word say to me already
but im really don't know what to say to you except that word
im a lousy boy friend of yours.. T.T
im a bad boyfriend...


This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shaking off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're trying to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

OneRepublic - Stop and Stare

stop and stare, looking back to our hours
but we cant move anywhere, coz we stop at this hour.

wow.. these days..
many things happen..
from Monday itself till today this hour..
many things i have thinking of..

Monday
the most memorable day..
first time working independently
after been worked at either my aunt or my cousin office during school break for the last 5 years..
finally.. *take deep breath
what a nice smell though.. wakaka!!!

working outside do really makes difference.. learn a lot though..
become an exhibition guardian + information man + kuli...
tired coz of standing from 10 am to 10 pm.
but the memories.. unforgettable..

PS: more pictures bout the exhibition at next post!! ^^

Tuesday
client meeting. was nice, or should i say so far so good?? ahaha!!
smoothly going and erm..
chat with this feller near 30 minutes already
at computer lab some more.. xD
fun chatting with him
after that head to college hang out with my friends.
till 9 pm head on to my lecturer to teach me how to do the animation
actually.. is so damn easy only.. =.=" wakaka!!!

Wednesday
i discovered myself truly, madly, deeply like a person.. or should i say.. love that person
actually is started quite some times already..
till Wednesday morning i confess to her that i love her..
want know more..?! haha!! no way..
well let it be the secret in between us ok?? hehe..
im sure she will agreed what i have done.. xD

respect privacy la.. xD

well i do really love her..
although sometimes confused of we doing the right thing or not.
but she told me that don't ever think of it.. it will make us worst.
so i promised her to not to think of it already..
well.. what comes around, goes around. let it be and naturally lit.

lastly i wanna say..
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER!! ^.^


- simple blog entry of mine.. hope you all enjoy!!!

How am I supposed to tell you how I feel
I need oxygen
Oh baby if I was your lady
I would make you happy
I'm ever gonna leave, never gonna leave
Oh baby I would be your lady
I am going crazy for you

Oxygen by Colbie Caillat

i think im already crazy for you!! ^.^
and i happy that we started.
the step that we both wanna take.
I LOVE YOU!!!