Finals of 2012

let's have a round-up calculation on this year.

better in work place. CHECKED!

be a better and organized person. CHECKED!

mental strength of handling stress. NOT TOO BAD =)

well all these can't compared to this 1 thing.

i lost a relationship with someone i cared and loved most.

well im not too sure weather you're reading this or not.

but.. like i always told u last time.

i will make it better, counter it and compromised all problems that we have

just to be with you.

you have my words for it.

knowing it's unfair for myself, but i still want to work this out with you.

from this very moment,

even every time i start up my laptop,

weekdays after 6pm,

hanging out with my friends,

i always have these question in my mind.

what you doing now?

getting any better in life,

did u still thinks bout our problems on how to do it?

do you miss me?

do u still love me?

if so, why don't you gimme a call to ease your emotion?

cos i always misses you.

and i still very loved you and wanna do more for our relationship.

sometimes wanna tell you that, it's ok to be weak.

then at this time, you will find true strength

people that can really really help you along, other than God.

is all these a sign?

sign of: i shall let you go?

suddenly feel like writing one after all these while

you might not see this post, as MIGHT NOT still has the possibilities to saw it.

when you saw this, we MIGHT still together, but i have a high possibilities that we probably end our relationship already.

well whatever it is, im just wanna say:

all these while, with you around my side

is the happiest moments that i experienced ever

thanks for giving me a chance to love you

and by having you, only i knew that i can sacrifice so many things for people

you raised up all my senses of treating everyone equally

and most all, treating you better than everybody

with this, only i know...

last time i was always alone

doing things all by myself

but with you

you are the source of my will

accompany by my side to give me strength, power and determinations

these years with you around my life

i learned alot

i don't know how long more we can sustain now as now things changed drastically

i just wanna say:

thanks for your presence in my life

and i hope that we will be better in future

if we do beak up in the end

i hope that you will find someone that is even better than me

you deserves this privilege

and sorry for not being the best that you want me to be

time flies, and now is already at the middle of July..

many things happened in this very month..
most recent ones is our forst ever class trip, where i experienced~

- first time in flight
- first time tasting bak kut teh outside of Klang.. it was superb by the way~~ xD
- first time watching sunset from East Malaysia. 1 word to describe. stunning
- first time to see a fatso transsexual did the most annoying moan at the middle of night
- first time to interact with a Korean that can speak dang good Mandarin
- first time eaten very good seafood at the cheapest price i ever paid for it. RM 70
- first time drinking with my classmates

on top most all, this is the first time i feel that we had a wonderful time together
thanks to Wilson, Juf, Alia, Lisa, Rahim and Dan, for this wonderful trip.
cheers guys!!!

sometimes.. just cant describe in words for what we're facing now

sometimes, i just cant afford to nag on you again

sometimes, im just restless to seeing these again

sometimes, i think probably you do still enjoys more with them compared to me

sometimes, you will just forget what i said and remember everything they said

sometimes... im just hard to put all these in words

what i can do now... theres only one

that is just being supportive

care lesser bout' you

less to know what you're doing

and dont ever nag on you no matter what

weather im disappointed on something, angry or just fucked up on things again

sometimes....

im just too tired to entertain this anymore

is it possible that they just vanish from my life?

i don't fucking think so..

even till now.

3 days of hardship...
3 days of rushing
and now its finally done...
well, it's not my stuffs by the way..
im helping her out on her coursework. =)

it's good to rely on someone just to let he/she knows that
you need someone to cared of.
and this is what we did for last 3 days. helping out each other
i have a strong believes on this principle
'you scratch my back, and i will do the same to you' =)

these 3 days of helping you to rushing your assignment
we made it very enjoyable
and im glad that im able to help you out..
but don't know why...
i got a feeling that im did it wrongly..
hahahah
hope it's not... >.< *cross finger

quick update before i head to bed

happy 2 1/2 year anniversary, to my dearest Esther Leong!!

wish our love still this firm and strong till...
well i have no idea till when..
but im hope that we do happy whenever we're together

i love you!!

it's May now..

and today we're had a small quarrel at afternoon
that makes me moody whole day during other half of the working hours..
well im glad within 2 hours we're ok
and im touched when you apologize to me
and you also accept the flaws that i can't changed till now..
that is always ngam you..

somehow i really hope that you understands my efforts to you
sometimes i just hate myself cos i always make you moody
cos of this weakness in myself

but im glad that i did endured till last minutes before i burst out..
compared last time, this is way much better in managing this
hope that i will be better and better in handling this matter!

in a relationship
relying on each other is a way to express yourself
to the person that you cared most.
by that, your partner knows how to treat you better
and you also can treat your partner even better than you used to be =)

today the office was so quiet since she left.
all the best in your new work place, and we will always miss your presence

i made her disappointed

i made her mad

i made her done that

and now i feel that we're at the brink of breaking up

really wei loong

can't you see she's really taking care of your asses??

can't you see she's really cares for you

and most all, is you that made all these happens at all time

really... sometimes i don't know where i can improve

seems that how i done also can't satisfy her

not because she asking for more

is i who just keep repeating everything and many things all over and over again

i don't wish to end this

and i really clueless on what i should do now..

forgive me

thats the only thing i can say of now

its been awhile...

well dang right, its been awhile, since i wrote here...

many things happened..
like im now 5 more months towards graduations
after my final project
had a great celebration of new year, my birthday with my loved ones
and of course, found out that she has a blog too! =)

but what's memorable in these recent 3 months
is that the conflict between us are lesser
in fact are getting better and better
to date, we just had those quarrels that im being too pressurized towards her

well dear, im promise i will do better and better!!! >.<
although is hard... i admit, is dang hard to change
cos is inside me already =)

other than that, we both, well i think she does too
really enjoys the efforts that shows towards each other!

dear
hope that you can end your dilemma soon!!
im always here for you if you need someone to talk with =)
i love you!!!

sacrificing are something that everyone will do
well.. it really depends on conditions though, for specific individuals.

sometimes sacrificing to someone eg friends, families, close related relatives, girlfriend/boyfriend are really good actually

but how about too much sacrificial efforts have been made to someone?
hmm..

starting new semester soon in 5 more days! woohoo!

hello again~ after near 3 months away from my blog here

well..

finals are done
and everyone did a great job from their works
celebration from architecture workshop has passed 2 weeks to date
holiday has gone half way
while i feel that im currently the most unproductive human is this world

in this upcoming 2 weeks
redang trip
tuning back my body to the more extreme state xD
movies, movies and MOVIES
meditations, and not least,
inception about my library project

really have to get my mental to endures endless pressures..
pressures from works, lecturers, colleagues
all these, still, not as important as HER....

probably im not as tough as i thought though
the thought of 'i can endure/being patient for everything' seems is loosing its grips by time to time
many things that i done seems not really works
many things that i think can only be remain as a dream
well at least the things i say still counts inside her thought

well get it over it man!
like she says always, i seems to think too much sometimes

well for that sometimes, i don't really thought that i did really think too much
expressions says it all

hmm..
i shall really get this over

boohoo!! a month plus didnt update my blog already

well..
many things happens in this one month plus period.

lets list it down.

- Cenderuh, Perak @ 03/05- 06/05
one word to describe. superb!
having alot of fun with the lecturers and friends
better than i expected.
camping 1 day at a stranded island, great
BBQ sessions at night, wonderful hehe

- final project
all are on time although got some delays
glad that everyone can make it..
hitting June soon
time are lil running out now
just can wish that all the best for all of us!

the recent ones, melaka trip
just back from there this morning 2am
well overall not bad
having good hang out sessions with dear's friends
A Farmosa is great
nyonya food was gorgeous
Portuguese style seafood, marvelous!


upcoming trip,
architecture workshop at Bangi
going off there in 2 weeks time


fuhh..
finals are 1 month apart from the schedule..
hopefully that everything runs well..

end

the happiest things now that happens to me:
listening to Muse's songs at this current moment
and also listened 2 Muse's songs in radio broadcast in the Friday morning

mixed feelings again....

well i really have no idea when or how it occurs
but it seems that it just happen.. naturally
and i didn't know what's the reason for all this happen

probably she too busy with her friends after the trip
or probably she got things that way important than me to neglect me

think bout it.
there's NONE of the items above that gave me my mood swing
after all, there's hangover periods after trips..

then left out 1 item already.
probably im jealous. xD
well i didn't push away this possibilities that i do jealous
but it seems that there's something missing at the puzzle.

is not just bout this item alone
this recently we're having a lot of conflict
but the most recent ones are:

- she not as talkative as last time anymore
- complains too much (call me to cut down eating, give her more privacy times etc)
and.... yea that's all i think.
and yet, it keeps me think that she more happier with her friends

oh well,
when you wanna throw this mixed feelings away, wei loong
of course i wanna throw this away..

i know what....
all this items above gives me the feel of insecure.
(just get this correct feel while writing this out)


well its time to change, wei loong

i have no idea why today im full of rage and anger
till hurts somebody's feelings...

many sorry doesn't cure your sadness in heart
the only i can do is to change myself.

what's love means to you?


*feel free to chip in, drop by and voice out your opinions, own definitions etc :)


well finals are here
and today my classmates and i has walked in the KL city in a staggering record.
total of +- 5.4 KM :)

fuhh..
what a tiring day.
till then..

ever wondered since when i become selfish... hmm







back to story...
i PASSED to my final years, and that means
same class with alia, lisa, daniel, iqbal, wilson, and hopefully jufri will join the club ^^
well scores are not as my expectations..
but well..
i deserves that... hehe



at workplace..

contract with P1 will ends in... near 5 days more..
cos we just cant bear with their attitude...
and the first thing that my PM wanna do when the project ends is...

" ... i wanna take out this fucking stickers..
what a disgrace.. "

well i do fucking agreed with him though.. ^^

and starting Feb 1st, i will be helping my cousin to run his roving team
i mean in P1 roving team.. huhu
well i do hope that i wont bring any bad luck to him that happens at this recent weeks..




new year was.... soooo long ago..
but still.. we celebrate it with a blast ^^
same as Christmas.
Chinese new year are coming soon in just less than 3 weeks time..
cant wait for it though ^^



back to the first topic..
being selfish aren't healthy..
but can i have this 1 chance to be selfish to you?
seriously i really not happy at all when you says that
and i know that my thoughts wont change anything from you
so....


i respect your decisions..
just go ahead for those things that you think is right to do.
i will support you dear!
by becoming 你背后的男人 ^^

well compact post it seems..
gonna sleep in empty stomach then
losing my appetite to eat recently..
huhu..

update

sekarang nie aku malas giler nak update!!

but i promise you guys that i will update my blog ASAP!!

cheers!

ever wondering myself doing extraordinary things
but ended up.. shocked my lecturer off his chair.. haha!!

well.. i admit i done a oversize design..
but i didn't expect that.. too over sized
then finally lecturer comment here and there
and he finally changed my floor plan
preventing me from develop from the current floor plan.
well... there's 3 weeks more then..
decided to follow my layout, with my changed floor plan
hopefully can get it done asap.....

being with her for 1 year and 10 days
i feel that our relationship kinda.... changed upside down
i never felt before ever this kind of changing situations..
well i feel very happy for this changes that made by us
sometimes we do still busy here and there
but still we're able to cope the changes
and myself are more acceptable with her current status

dear's ♥ sports day has finished at this recent Friday
happy for her that her busy-ness finally come to the end
now whats left is her exams..
wish her all the best then!! ♥


while doing my material research
i decided to using back the previous material research fom my year 2 Commercial Designing
that is















from up to down: cork oak and LiTraCon™

well i really cross finger and hope that the research that i done will be OK....

starting admiring you
means somehow you caught my attention to you
and start from there
i admiring and observing your beauty, behavior and my feelings towards you
and ended up, you make me cant get my eyes off of you
eventually, i started to fall in love to you
and i propose to you, 3 times
eventually you accepted me as another half of you
days already passed 365 ++ days
and we celebrate our anniversary in a most random way
that is both of us are busy on that day

although we're can't be able to celebrate our anniversary
deep down in me
i feel that we're already do celebrate our first year
by giving a simple hug to each other
not much
but it makes me feel that we're always gonna be there for each other
and i do hope that we both can be more understanding to each other! ^^

I ♥ U

most random quotes by - wei loong -

mk: aunt (ky's mum), you guys didn't organize any meet ups lately??
mk: i misses all those family gathering that we had last time
ky: ya ya!! lets have it someday then
wl: wah.. good la you guys..
ky: you can come and join us along
wl: wait mk become mrs ng only i go
aunt: so.... you guys planned when you guys get married already?!
wl: NO LA AUNT! where got so fast!


wow.. didn't know that my so- called sarcastic joke
has become a serious matter in dear's family.. ==

huhu...
another update after 2 3 weeks apart..

assignment....
well can i say i progress well?? hehe
so far i really satisfied on my progress in design
and continuing to being ahead from my schedule.

relationship...
5 more days would be our 1 year anniversary
looking forward on it at the same time worried
paycheck haven't out makes my origin plan spoil big time
well thinking of alternative plan now
really hope that she will love the plans that i do for her

this recently
i realize that i being immature in some points.
is this the symptoms of being old day by day?
or the real inner part of me are showing off?
being too sensitive at all time, naive thoughts lurking around me
and not being generous enough for accept some facts that is totally unavoidable
is this my problems?

i really wanna know it why



sometimes i think that
i shall not being selfish

well ended up..
that's another way round

is it my problem of not sorting out with you
or you didn't even realize it that i really care?
sometimes i really wanna tell you some things bout you
but self assumptions tells me that you will counter-attack it back
and making my advices, wishes, hopes and dreams vanish with a word from you
and making myself pointless to voice it out to you
because it will be happening back
not now, in future
probably month later, week later, days even hours or minutes or seconds after that
being with me and the next minute busy with your things
toleration is the only thing i can give you now
i really clueless on what should i do now
giving you more private times means lesser time to meet each other
probably days, even weeks or months after that
only we can meet up once
i know that this doesn't work at all as will ruin our relationship
to a different levels, that is tendency to break up
committing time for you are the only way
matter now is you're not committing your times for me too
sorry to say that.. but yea...
whenever i voice that out, you will tend to say... please be understanding to your situations
then how about me then??
when you really making efforts
i already know that your efforts are fruitless
because you have a lists of 'to-do-list' in your mind
house works, assignments, wanna have your own private time without the presence of me


well
its already to the extend of
whatever shit i type at here and words that i say to you are literary...
pointless

at the same time..
i really love you
i willing to sacrifice my time just to be with you
and your reply is to have me to accompany you to do your works/assignments
i don't really mind as i can do my stuff along with you
but what i want from you are attentions from you!
im sacrificing my time for you
i really wanted that you do really block your time to just spend with me
the only way i cool down and distract to think bout this matter is by smoking and get myself being busy
and i know..
this 2 ways aren't going to work effectively
telling you would be pointless as it will back to normal soon
keeping the problems to myself you will think that i don't tell you anything on what's happening in my head
the only way to get my mind out of this matter
is to be with you, accompany by you and do stuffs that we both enjoy doing it
other than that, when my mood swing comes
i will evolve to some other feller already

i regret for following you to Genting today
as from what i see is you wanna have private times with your friends
not with me
and my presence seems being a burdens for you
as you need to care bout me and your friends



well dear
when you really sees this
i really don't know what is happening in between both of us already
well if you do read it tomorrow, or some other days
i just wanna tell you that
I LOVE YOU!
regardless of what you have done to me
your selfishness, ego, bad time management till you have to isolate me and being bold with your decision of you wanna have more time to do your own stuffs or whatever is in your mind at the moment when you read this
im really don't care it anymore then..

being with you even a while even a minute are already enough to make myself happy already
regardless of your decision in future regarding you need more time and etc
i will not object it and i will accept it with no obligations
i promise you!

well i wanna dedicate this post to one of my best friend, sebrina

have a long chat with her and she awakes me with some points.
well sometimes i really glad that friends are all around me whenever i got a issue/ problems

back to her...
its always not enjoyable now because im not myself when i facing her
well seb reminds me of something
i still do have strong chemistry to her
matter now is that when i with her
its no longer myself anymore
because of her words
that i think she probably forgotten what she told me before

well i hope that i can recover fast
just like seb says
let her be in 1 week
let her have her time
and see how it goes...

well i do really hope that she didn't read this post
because i confirm that she will cry after finish reading


well if YOU do read my post here
i just wanna say IM TOTALLY OK!
so don't worried bout me so much then affect your studies
that i think you won't have time to care bout me..

damn! why i always giving myself a negative thoughts when come to this matter?!


be strong wei loong!
get yourself busy with works and studies
probably you will feel better like this
or probably the other way round then...

updatesss..

it's been awhile....

currently are busy with my works and also my college
so seldom have the time to update my blog.

day 339,
recently we both having a quarrel sessions
that from what i think is my problems
and at the same time i feel that is her problem also.
matter now is that i tell her its not her problem
for the sake of making her less worries in her head.

BUT I REALLY WANNA TELL HER THIS!
sometimes is really her problem!!

well i take this obstacles in our relationships
as one of our challenge quest that have to solve it fast.

work has been fine sailing throughout the weeks.
being promoted seems like it doesn't really fancy though
i prefer to go back to the previous time
no worries and best of all, the pay is 3K
rather than now is sometimes not more than 1.8K

in college,
it's getting like ride in a roller coasters
submissions and presentations are in near every week basis
pressures from lecturers and also from Engineering Maths.

now currently

• wanna make sure every things are run smoothly throughout the whole

• wanna repair our relationships from becoming worsen

• wanna have inspirations from Frank Lloyd Wright.

well as not least, vacations!!!